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The Louse

A louse is a small insect which lives as a parasite on animals or plants. Lice also come in human form. There are different type of human lice catergorized as follows:-

Bar Louse

The Bar Louse thrives in Bars and other such drinking establishments. He is often seen drinking and talking loudly with friends. The Bar Louse has the ability to share many stories of how successful he is. The Bar louse enjoys the consumption of alcoholic beverages round by round. He however doesn’t have the ability to pay for his round. He is often found in the restroom at the time that the tab needs to be settled. When seen again he often says: “AWW, I didn’t know that you were ready to pay the bill or else I would have given you something before I went to the restroom.”

The Club Louse

The Club Louse is closely related to the Bar Louse. They differ in that he habitates in clubs and discos. He usually appears late(about 3AM), after you have bought all the drinks for the ladies that you have taken out(having also paid the entrance fee for them too). He dances with them and chats them up after you have done all of the ground work.

Spending Louse

He never has the ability to pay for stuff. Whenever you need to share costs with him, he uses the excuse taht he has left his wallet home or in the car(which is probably parked 10 blocks away) or he hasn’t been paid yet. He never seems to be able to find his wallet even days after the purchase has been made.


The above mentioned lice can eliminated by applying a bit of common sense. Pay for drinks upfront when drinking with a known Bar Louse. This will quickly expose his inability to pay for drinks and eliminate you paying for his drinks/rounds while he is in the restroom.

Leave the club early to avoid Club Louse interruptions. In this way you won’t clash with the Club Louse and he won’t have ladies to dance with when he arrives at 3AM.

Always be broke. Never flash money. Act poor and always lament how badly you are doing. In this way Spending Louse won’t want to be hanging out with someone who is also a Louse.


January 29, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Hmm…so this is where you are impounded..lol.

    On the topic…
    I must agree with you there if you act broke they will avoid your company. I wonder why they just dont stay the hell home?

    Comment by raptus8 | January 29, 2009 | Reply

  2. because their fridge is empty.

    Comment by kagedbird | January 29, 2009 | Reply

  3. oh! Come to think of it maybe home isn’t “home” for them too so i guess the next best thing is to free ride on people and get wasted.

    Comment by raptus8 | January 30, 2009 | Reply

  4. true

    Comment by kagedbird | January 30, 2009 | Reply

  5. hmmm….good advice

    i don’t go drinking if i have no money to spend. when i’m broke or i have better use for my money i tell ppl that i don’t have so i’m not going. if they insist on taking me out they know the situation.

    Comment by Brass Knuckle | January 31, 2009 | Reply

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